Poor Cell Service in the Hamptons

It’s no secret that there is very poor cell phone service in the Hamptons. This is true from Southampton to Montauk, however the worst of it, in my opinion is Springs and the Northwest Woods. Get lost there at night, and well, good luck to you.

Some people take pride in the fact that there is poor cell phone service where they live, it’s a badge of honor that makes them tougher.

I am not one of those people.

I am the type of person who honestly cannot believe that we have allowed it to get this bad. I’m sort of in awe by the whole thing. It just doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to me to build some cell phone towers that exist literally everywhere else, for a service so critical to daily life. To me, this is like protesting the construction of a stoplight or a water pipe, or a public bathroom. It’s like…dude, we kinda need to be able to use our cell phones to operate our daily lives.

If there was ever a greater example of NIMBY-ism, it’s the cell tower issue. Residents of the areas where the proposed towers are to be built will never give in out of fear that it will affect their property values. What’s interesting to me is that the locations of many cell towers and radio towers in the Hamptons have properties that are WAY more desirable than where proposed cell structures are to be built. I think my two favorite examples are the large metal tower in the middle of $3 million dollar and up neighborhoods,  the GIGANTIC radio tower that exists in Amagansett, and the gigantic radio tower that exists off of Middle Line Road in Southampton. Take a look at the property values there and see how things have panned out. They are doing just fine.

Can’t we just build a cell phone tower and then put some camouflage on it? Make it look like a tree?

My point is, I give up. You win. I’ve accepted that I’m not going to be able to make a phone call while driving to get directions while lost, make an appointment in between jobs at work, contact a co-worker from the road, report an accident, answer a home emergency call etc. All of these things can wait in the year 2022.

Regardless, as Hamptonites, we just have to adapt. If we can adapt to the traffic, we can adapt to no cell phone service.

We are agile and fluid people us Hamptonites. We embrace change. After all, in this post Covid world, we have adapted to the preposterous, outrageous and totally disruptive change of rules to allow outdoor dining for restaurants throughout the hamlets. I know it was such a sacrifice for everyone who cannot stand the terrible inconvenience of having to walk down the street and view people eating outside and hearing noise that isn’t a bird chirping or a small business closing.

Don’t forget to call your mother, if she doesn’t answer, just assume she’s got no signal.