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December 12, 2019

Helping Adult Kids Without Harming Your Own Financial Future

Rocco A. Carrieroby Rocco A. Carriero
in Real Estate
Home Real Estate

Would you be willing to delay your retirement to help your child pay for their first car, college education or wedding? Increasingly a lot of Americans say the answer is yes. According to a recent study publish by Ameriprise Financial, 1 in 3 parents say they have delayed or are willing to delay their retirement to help pay for their children’s college education.* And the financial support often continues in adulthood – parents also help their adult children pay for major milestones such as their first home and weddings, sometimes at their own detriment.

As a financial advisor, I help families grapple with this kind of financial quandary. Here’s the advice I offer parents who want to give their adult children a financial head start without harming their own financial future:

Prioritize saving for your own retirement. It takes many years to accumulate the savings you need to retire comfortably. Your children are likely just starting their careers, while your time remaining in the workforce may be limited to 5, 10 or 15 years. Putting yourself first isn’t a selfish move. It’s about being wise with your money. If you make it a priority to have enough saved when you retire, your kids won’t have to worry about providing you with financial support later in life.

Be strategic with your financial gifts. Like other monetary goals, it’s important to add gifts of cash to your overall financial plan. When you treat cash gifts separately, you shortchange other priorities such as retirement. What will it cost you to divert savings from your retirement plan? With a complete list of financial priorities, you can see how much you need to save to reach them all.

Consider alternate approaches to helping your kids.There may be ways to help your kids other than by dipping into savings. Encourage them to take financial responsibility when they can do so. Your college-bound son or daughter may be able to take out student loans at a low interest rate, which will reduce or eliminate the amount you need to contribute for tuition. Instead of writing a check to help your child buy a car or house, you might co-sign on a loan to help them lock in a lower-interest rate or more favorable repayment terms.

Have conversations about money. Your willingness to talk about your finances is a valuable example for your adult children. So too is your attention to your retirement savings. I encourage parents to invite their adult children to attend a financial planning session with a financial advisor. It’s a time to address money concerns and explore how actions today can affect your future finances.

* The Modern Money study was created by Ameriprise Financial, Inc. and conducted online by Artemis Strategy Group December 11-25, 2018 among 3,008 U.S. adults between the ages of 30-69 with at least $100,000 in investable assets. For further information and details about the study, including verification of data that may not be published as part of this report, please contact Ameriprise Financial or go to Ameriprise.com .

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LOCAL EVENTS

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Aperitivo (Sunset Cocktails)

October 9 @ 05:00 PM - October 9 @ 08:00 PM
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Emilio Moro Wine Dinner at R.AIRE

October 9 @ 06:30 PM - October 9 @ 08:30 PM
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R.AIRE Wine Dinner with Emilio Moro

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“The First Science from the Vera Rubin Observatory” (A Free, Virtual Lecture)

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The Holiday Spirit To Spread Throughout Downtown Riverhead

The Holiday Spirit To Spread Throughout Downtown Riverhead

  • The 33rd Hamptons International Film Festival kicked off last Friday with the U.S. premiere of A24’s Eternity starring Elizabeth Olsen, Miles Teller, and Callum Turner.⁠
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Elizabeth Olsen attended the premiere on Friday, and on Saturday sat down with IndieWire’s Editorial Director Kate Erbland at the Sag Harbor Cinema as a part of the festival’s “A Conversation With” series. Later that day, the second “A Conversation With” took place as Ethan Hawke and moderator Alison Stewart talked about Blue Moon, as well as Hawke’s filmography. ⁠
⁠
Sydney Sweeney received the festival’s Achievement in Acting Award following the U.S. premiere of her film Christy in East Hampton. ⁠
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Notable Guests included: Alessandro Nivola, Alec Baldwin, Amanda Peet, Tonatiuh, Miriam Shor, Lois Smith, Tim Blake Nelson, Mareille Enos, Bob Balaban, E. Jean Carroll, Roberta Kaplan, Ellen Barkin, Bernie Telsie, Bill Condon.⁠
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📸: Jess Dalene⁠
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Check out the full gallery at Hamptons.com (Link in Bio)⁠
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#hiff #hamptonsinternationalfilmfestival #film #elizabetholsen #sydneysweeney #hamptons #hamptonsfilm⁠
  • When: Fri, Oct 3rd – Sun, Oct 5th, 2025
8am – 5pm

Where: Levain Bakery, 354 Montauk Hwy, Wainscott, NY

Levain Bakery is introducing a new cookie for a limited time: Peanut Butter Dark Chocolate Chip – a decadent mix of creamy and chunky peanut butter with rich dark chocolate chunks. Originally created to celebrate the opening of Levain’s Beverly Hills Bakery, this indulgent new flavor will now be available for just three days only, October 3–5, at all retail bakery locations.

To make the weekend even sweeter, guests who purchase a cookie will receive a Levain Bakery mini tote (while supplies last), a fan-favorite collectible sure to go quickly.

#levain #levainbakery #cookie #minitote #tote #hamptons
  • From world premieres at the Hamptons International Film Festival to SouthamptonFest! ⁠
⁠
Check out the Top Hamptons Events This Weekend!⁠
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🎬 33rd Hamptons International Film Festival⁠
📅 Oct 3 – 13, 2025 | 9AM – 10PM⁠
📍 Various Locations⁠
A global lineup of films, shorts & documentaries.⁠
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🍪 Levain Bakery⁠
📅 Oct 3 – 5, 2025 | 8AM – 5PM⁠
📍 354 Montauk Hwy, Wainscott⁠
Try the Peanut Butter Dark Chocolate Chip cookie + snag a mini tote (while supplies last).⁠
⁠
🎉 13th Annual SouthamptonFest⁠
📅 Oct 3 – 5, 2025 | 10AM – 7PM⁠
📍 Southampton Village⁠
Arts, culture, food & family fun all weekend long!⁠
⁠
🎶 SpringsFest⁠
📅 Oct 4, 2025⁠
📍 1 Parsons Pl, East Hampton⁠
Live music, raffles, crafts, blacksmith demos & more.⁠
⁠
💃 Salsa Social @ The Clubhouse Hamptons⁠
📅 Oct 4, 2025 | 9PM – 11:30PM⁠
📍 East Hampton⁠
Dance the night away w/ DJ Chile & more!⁠
⁠
🐚 34th Annual Largest Clam Contest⁠
📅 Oct 5, 2025 | 12PM – 3PM⁠
📍 Amagansett Life Saving Station⁠
Taste clam chowder, clam pies & cheer on the winners!⁠
⁠
🎷 East Meets West Jazz Jam Session⁠
📅 Oct 5, 2025 | 2PM – 5PM⁠
📍 Southampton Cultural Center⁠
Free community jazz jam – all are welcome.⁠
⁠
🌕 Full Hunter’s Super Moon Hike⁠
📅 Oct 6, 2025 | 6:30PM – 7:30PM⁠
📍 SOFO Museum Parking Lot⁠
Guided evening hike under the moonlight.⁠
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✨ Which event are you most excited for?⁠
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Check out more events at Hamptons.com (Link in Bio)⁠
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#hamptons #hamptonsinternationalfilfestival #hiff #jazz #fullmoon #hike #film #levainbakery #community
  • So many fun fall activities in the Hamptons 🎃

@fairviewfarmatmecox 
@corwithsfarmstand 
@milkpailfarmorchard 

Check out our fall guide at Hamptons.com (Link in Bio)

#hamptons #fall #applepicking🍎 #pumpkin #maze #pettingfarm
  • As summer winds down and the cool breezes of fall approach, jewelry enthusiasts and fashion lovers alike are looking for the latest seasonal trends. Yael Fraynd, founder and president of Yaya Publicity, offers an insider’s perspective on what to expect this fall — especially for those embracing the chic lifestyle of the Hamptons.⁠
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Looking ahead to fall, Fraynd described the evolving styles with enthusiasm. For fall, expect to see bold statement pieces, rich gemstone colors like orange and a playful mix of metals. ⁠
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She also noted the influence of pop culture on jewelry trends, including celebrities like Taylor Swift, who is recently engaged, saying, “It could also be just, you know, with Taylor Swift, who has such a big effect on what people like.”⁠
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On the seamless transition from summer to fall styles, she observed, “In the summer, you see a bit of Western-inspired pieces, and I think that they really do kind of transition into fall really nicely. ⁠
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@yayapublicity⁠
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Read the full article at Hamptons.com (Link in Bio) ⁠
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#fall #falltrend #falljewelry #hamptons⁠
  • Apollo in the Hamptons returned with a celebratory evening at the EHP Resort & Marina (Si Si Restaurant) in East Hampton. The annual fundraiser supported Apollo’s year-round artistic and educational programs and its first full-scale renovation and restoration. ⁠
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📸: Danté Crichlow for The Apollo⁠
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Check out the full gallery at Hamptons.com (Link in Bio)⁠
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#apollo #apollotheater #hamptons #easthampton #benefit #fundraiser
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