It was kind of a nightmare. It was Saturday and we were in Riverhead and I needed to buy a Christmas tree. Every year I deal with this and every year I don’t know where to go, so of course I googled it. Everything that came up was on the North Fork. Apparently, the North Fork is literally made of Christmas tree farms.
I didn’t feel like making the drive, so I decided to wing it and just head toward Southampton and see what happened. The adventure started at Olsen’s Christmas Tree Farm off of Flanders Road, which is where I went last year. I pulled in and the sign said out of business. But I heard later that they are open.
We passed the Big Duck and I got anxious. I was now in expensiveville. Christmas trees were probably going to be twice as expensive. I made a guess that Shinnecock Hardware sold Christmas trees but I screwed up the turn and found myself on North Sea Road. I called Steve D’Angelo who owns North Sea Hardware.
“STEVE!”
“DAVE!”
“Where can I buy a Christmas tree? Do you have them?”
“I have fake ones but Fowler’s sells them in the Village.”
I became stressed. A Fowler’s Christmas tree is probably $1,000 I guessed. I’m, like, afraid to set foot in that place the same way I’m afraid to step into a Gucci store. We pressed on after remembering a sign off of Noyac Road that the Lions Club was selling Christmas trees at the North Sea Firehouse, but when we got there, they were closed.
“Dang it!”
My wife was getting annoyed. I was getting antsy. My daughter was passed out and drooling. Things were looking dire. This was our only day. I can’t press on further, Sag Harbor? East Hampton? Forget it. I’d rather cut down a tree, I grew up in East Hampton and I couldn’t think of a single place to go there. (I googled it later for this article and apparently you can get them at Hren’s and Whitmore’s.)
I called Fowler’s, expecting the worst.
“Fowler’s.”
“Yeah hi, do you have Christmas trees that are like, not too expensive?”
“Sure you can get a nice tree for I think it’s $129.”
“SOLD”
This was exactly the same price I would pay in Riverhead.
I walked into Fowler’s and couldn’t believe it. The store is Christmas heaven. The entire store is basically a Christmas store this time of year and it is HUGE. I went to the back and there were TONS of trees. There were small ones under $100 but I wanted to get a big one and took my time searching for the one that spoke to me as I was guided by a worker there. When I found the one, he chainsawed it to make it even, he wrapped it up and offered to deliver it to my house in Southampton.
“Is delivery included?”
“Yes.”
I couldn’t believe it. I was there, though, and I couldn’t wait any longer so we threw it on top of my Jeep.
Anyway, FOWLER’S is the answer to a natural Christmas tree in Southampton Village. And if you want to, invest in a fake tree and buy it at North Sea Hardware and say hello to Steve.  
