Sixty-Something: Discovering Life’s Answers in the Beauty of The Hamptons

If you’re in your sixties and still searching for the meaning of life, good luck. At this point in my life, I find myself asking fewer questions about the future and just taking things in stride. I have younger friends who are struggling to figure it all out socially, romantically, and financially. Most of us have been there; some of us have won big, while others not so much.

Back when I was living paycheck to paycheck, I remember how stressful it all seemed. In those days, when things seemed bleak, I would take a walk on the beach or hike through a park. Sometimes I would stroll down an east-end village’s Main Street. It was amazing how this worked for me. I’m no expert on what soothes the overactive mind of an overachiever, but I believe the answer might just be on the east end, hidden in plain sight – the abundance of natural beauty, almost everywhere.

Making difficult business decisions usually means finding tough answers on many levels. In today’s complicated internet-oriented society, everything can sometimes feel like a three-dimensional chess match against a computer. That can really strain brain circuits. That’s when it might be wise to go back to basics and get back to nature.

Last Sunday night, I was driving to Bay Street Theater to see the movie “Four Winters.” This is a brilliant film about the Jews who hid and resisted the Nazis in the forests of Eastern Europe. While I was driving down Sebonic Neck Road, which is a beautiful back road I use to avoid Route 27 traffic, something happened. At the time, I was worried about finding parking in Sag Harbor and being on time for this movie. At a stop sign, I looked left and right, and just when I was about to go, a huge Blue Heron, with a body as long as my car is wide, flew not more than three feet over my car’s windshield. It startled me because I had never seen the eyes, wingspan, and tethered body of this exotic bird up so close. Needless to say, I was stunned. Instantly, my worries about the movie, parking, and so forth ended. The rest of the drive, I wondered how a bird that big even flies! It looked so prehistoric. It literally blocked my view of the road for a few seconds.

Back at George Washington University in 1975, I took an elective, a graduate school-level class on Business Management. Professor Carrington, a witty businessman and professor, always had anecdotes to spice up his lectures. One of my favorites that rang true later in life was this one. He said, “In business, you never really solve your problem at hand because a bigger one comes along that instantly needs your full attention.” Then he insinuated that business is like defusing bombs dumped on your desk daily. I suppose life can be described as daily problem-solving.

Who hasn’t run to buy a coffee to go and sip in an ocean beach parking lot in the off-season to take a break from that day’s problems that needed to be solved? Usually, you see someone with their dog enjoying running through the surf. After a few minutes, you check the phone, start up the car, and head back into the chaos workdays often are. There were times when I had either a huge personal problem or a business problem, such as the company I was working for filing for bankruptcy and owing me thousands. Somehow, staring at the ocean calmed me down.

The next day, my immediate boss, editor-in-chief, landlord, and future best man took me fishing off his sailboat. After catching a few bluefish in Gardiner’s Bay, we were laughing at the unknown while noticing how beautiful Gardiner’s Bay always is. Somehow, it all worked out with a few bumps and pit stops for both of us. He went sailing with me this summer with his young daughter in Gardiner’s Bay. The East End is like that – it soothes, heals, teaches, and sometimes it just helps you come up with the answers.