As Memorial Day weekend approaches the other Hamptons begins to emerge. The owners of the summer vacation homes, the billionaires, and the rental folks all come back into town with their 2014 beach stickers and non-local ways. Having once lived in the Town of East Hampton as a vastly underpaid 50-plus year old struggling journalist of a large free weekly I always was amazed how the two worlds co-existed. At night in the summer, billionaires and locals wait at traffic lights right next to each other, just staring at the light to turn green.
With the reports of record $100M homes changing rich hands this off-season there are also local stories of school superintendents quitting, changes at the town dump, and new dog walking regulations. Friend of the Town of East Hampton and summer resident Alec Baldwin fresh from his experience in NYC should be pleased to know I am formally proposing a wrong way bike lane to run from Old Town Road, Amagansett into East Hampton Village right to Guild Hall. Bike riders who use this new wrong way bike lane will not be required to carry any I.D.
In Bridgehampton, where crossing the street in the summer season is dangerous, the hamlet is considering a new extra wide zebra painted, “Kardashian Crossing” lane, with paparazzi-like flashing lights going off whenever any member of the Kardashian’s are in fact crossing. However, also going up on Main Street are newly marked (yellow painted lines) with signage noting “Kardashian Free Zones.” The Bridgehampton Starbucks has ordered some new chairs, extra wide thrones actually, that will have red velvet rope around them to make the Kardashian’s feel at home while sipping their lattes.
Lastly, the best news is there is a slight chance that Southampton Hospital could be the place where new Amagansett homeowner of a $2.2M cottage, the stunning actress Scarlett Johansson may have her first child this summer. However she also has addresses in France, NYC, California, and a permanent motel room at the Surf Lodge in Montauk so don’t hold your breath camping out at any of the locations.